When the Smoke Clears: Navigating Grief After the LA Fires
Series: Hey wait, that’s me!
This is a hard time for our Los Angeles community. We are grieving, recovering, and healing, and yet, even as the fires continue to burn, we are still processing the weight of what has happened—how and why this devastation unfolded. For so many of us, this tragedy feels deeply personal. We, or someone we know, have lost homes, cherished belongings, and that sense of safety we rely on. Some of us are navigating the unimaginable loss of everything we knew, while others are grappling with the shock of how close we came to losing it all.
I want you to know: You are not alone. Navigating this new reality is overwhelming, and it’s okay to feel uncertain. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but I promise you, it is possible. Together, we can take steps toward finding peace and rebuilding our lives.
A Collective Trauma: Understanding What Happened to Us
The LA fires represent a collective trauma. As a community, we faced a shared threat to our safety. Watching the smoke rise, the flames grow, and the destruction spread—whether through firsthand experience or media coverage—our bodies responded instinctively.
When we experience a life-threatening event, our nervous system shifts into survival mode. This is where the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses take over. Some of us may have felt the urgency to escape immediately (flight), while others were compelled to act and protect what they could (fight). Some froze in disbelief or shock, unsure how to move (freeze), and others sought connection or appeasement to feel secure (fawn).
Whatever your response was in that moment, it was the right one for you. It got you through the danger, and that is something to honor—not judge.
The Impact of Trauma: What It Can Look Like
Trauma after wildfires can manifest in various ways. You may experience:
Heightened anxiety or hypervigilance (e.g., feeling “on edge” or constantly scanning for danger).
Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks of the fire.
Difficulty sleeping or recurring nightmares.
Grief and sadness for what was lost.
Physical symptoms, like headaches or a tightness in the chest, as your body processes the stress.
Emotional numbness or difficulty feeling connected to others.
These responses are common in the wake of disasters and are part of your body’s way of processing the shock and pain. It’s important to remember that your mind and body are doing their best to protect you in the aftermath of such an overwhelming experience. While these reactions can feel unsettling, they are normal and valid.
Survivors’ Guilt: When You Feel “Unscathed”
If you came through the fires without significant loss, you might be feeling survivors’ guilt. This is a common emotional response after disasters, where you wrestle with feelings of unworthiness or sadness for having been spared. Survivors’ guilt might look like:
Comparing your experience to others’ losses and minimizing your own feelings.
Difficulty enjoying life because of what others are going through.
A persistent sense of “Why them and not me?”
I want to acknowledge these feelings—what you’re going through matters too. It’s important to remember that feeling guilty doesn’t help those who are struggling, and you don’t need to carry the weight of others’ pain. What you can do is offer support but also allow yourself space to process and heal in your own way.
The Shock of It All: Giving Yourself Time to Process
Right now, it may feel like you’re still in a state of shock, disbelief, or emotional numbness. These reactions are completely normal after such a traumatic event. Your mind and body are trying to protect you from the intensity of what’s happened. Healing takes time—and there’s no timeline for how or when it happens. It’s okay to go at your own pace.
Be gentle with yourself as you move through this. It’s okay to feel whatever comes up, whether it’s sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. Emotions may come in waves, and some days may feel better than others. It’s also okay if you feel disconnected or like you’re struggling to feel anything at all. These are all ways your mind and body are coping with the enormity of the experience.
If you feel stuck, start small. Focus on the basics: eating, drinking water, resting. Engage in activities that ground you, like taking a walk, journaling, or spending time with loved ones. Allow yourself to take it one step at a time.
And always remember, you don’t have to face this alone. Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, joining a support group, or seeking professional help, connecting with others can help you feel supported through your healing process.
A New Reality: Where to Begin
If you or someone you know has lost a home, belongings, or a sense of safety in the fires, it’s normal to feel disoriented and unsure of where to begin. Start by focusing on your immediate needs: shelter, food, clothing, and other essentials. There are resources available to help you during this time, including:
Temporary Housing Assistance
Airbnb and 211 LA Partnership: If you’ve been displaced, you can apply for temporary housing through this collaboration.
The Queen Mary Hotel: Offering discounted rooms for evacuees, with special accommodations for pets.
Visit Big Bear: Coordinating discounted stays for evacuees.
Food and Clothing Distribution
Los Angeles Regional Food Bank: Offering assistance at multiple locations across the county.
YMCA Locations: Collecting and distributing emergency supplies in collaboration with the Red Cross.
World Central Kitchen: Providing meals at various locations in Los Angeles.
Financial Aid and Rebuilding Support
FEMA Individual Assistance: Offering grants for immediate needs and housing repairs.
SBA Loans: Low-interest loans for homeowners and renters affected by the disaster.
California Community Foundation Wildfire Recovery Fund: Supporting long-term recovery efforts in LA County.
Once your basic needs are met, it’s important to lean on your support system. Reach out to family, friends, chosen family, colleagues, or anyone you trust for comfort and grounding as you start to figure out your next steps. It’s okay to share your fears, grief, or even just your silence—connection is often the first step toward healing.
You are not alone in this. These resources are in place to help support you through this overwhelming time, and local organizations are ready to assist with your specific needs. Whether it’s finding a safe place to stay, rebuilding what was lost, or simply having someone listen, there are people who care deeply and want to help. Together, as a community, we can begin to rebuild—not just our homes, but our sense of hope and safety too.
We’re Here to Support You
At Angel City Therapy, we deeply understand that healing after a disaster like this can be a long and difficult journey. We offer both short-term and long-term support to help you process the trauma, manage stress, and rebuild trust in your surroundings. Our space is a compassionate, non-judgmental place where you can share your story and heal at your own pace. It’s okay if this is your first time seeking counseling—we’re here to help you however you need.
Healing is possible, and we are here to walk beside you. Together, we can begin the steps toward reclaiming safety, peace, and hope. If you’re in need of support, please don’t hesitate to reach out. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Schedule your initial consultation today with an Angle City Therapy therapist and embark on a journey of self-discovery and meaning-making.
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