EMDR Therapy Unveiled: Clearing Up Myths and Relieving Fears
Series: Behind the Buzzword
Let’s be real—EMDR therapy can feel pretty intimidating and overwhelming. Many new EMDR therapy clients step into the therapy room with lots of anticipatory anxiety, unsure of what to expect. It’s totally normal to wonder, 'Will it be too intense?' or 'Am I ready to face those emotions?' But here’s the good news: EMDR therapy, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a gentle yet powerful process that meets you where you are. While it involves revisiting certain memories, the goal is never to overwhelm you; instead, it empowers you to process those experiences at your own pace in a safe and supportive environment. So, let’s dive in and demystify EMDR therapy together!
What is EMDR?
First, I want to break down what EMDR therapy actually is. EMDR therapy is a therapeutic approach designed to help individuals process and heal from traumatic memories. One way to think about EMDR therapy is to compare it to REM sleep, which is when our brains process emotions and experiences during sleep. Just as REM sleep allows us to digest our daily experiences and emotions, EMDR therapy helps facilitate the processing of distressing memories, allowing individuals to gain perspective and emotional relief.
I like to describe the goal of EMDR as being on a train. Imagine you’re on this train, and as you pass by certain regions (or memories), the feelings, emotions, and sensations associated with those memories can feel incredibly intense, almost as if you’re reliving them. The goal of EMDR is to shift your experience so that you can observe these memories from a safe distance, recognizing that you are grounded in the present while still being aware of those past events. Picture yourself on a train passing by these memories rather than being stuck inside them. While the train glides along the tracks, you can see those memories flash by the window without being engulfed by the emotions and sensations they carry. Instead of being in the thick of it—feeling the anxiety, pain, or fear—you’re safely seated on the train, watching them as they move past you. This shift allows you to process and understand those memories without the same overwhelming intensity, helping you to regulate your emotional reactions and regain control over how they affect you. Ultimately, EMDR empowers you to observe your past experiences from a new perspective, facilitating healing and growth as you journey forward.
Busting the Myth: Recover Lost Memories
A common misconception about EMDR therapy is that it serves to “recover lost memories.” I get it—this can spark a wave of anxiety. Many people worry, ‘What if I uncover something I can’t handle?’ But here’s the reality: EMDR therapy isn’t about forcing you to relive buried trauma. It’s a structured process designed to help you heal from existing memories and experiences that are still affecting you.
To understand this better, let’s talk about how our brains work. Some memories are forgotten or repressed because they’re too painful or intense for us to deal with at the time. This protective mechanism allows us to function in our daily lives without being overwhelmed. While it can be frustrating not to remember certain periods or events, it’s essential to view this as your brain doing its job to protect you. In EMDR therapy, as your brain stabilizes and starts to desensitize to distressing memories, older memories may naturally come to the surface. This isn’t about uncovering hidden traumas; rather, it’s about your brain deciding you’re ready to process these memories in a safe and controlled way.
Think of it like this: remember watching a movie as a kid and having someone cover your eyes during intense scenes? It’s the same concept—your brain protects you until you’re ready to handle it! When I was a kid, my older sister wanted to introduce me to the movie Clueless. She would have me close my eyes during the house party scene where the teenagers were partaking in drug use because she knew I wasn’t ready to process that kind of content. If I had seen that scene at such a young age, I probably would have felt confused and scared. A few years later, when I was older, we watched the movie again, and this time, she didn’t ask me to close my eyes because I was mature enough to handle what I was seeing. Just like my sister filtered what I was exposed to until I was ready, our brains do the same with trauma—closing our eyes to protect us from memories until we’re strong enough to face them. In EMDR therapy, as you gain stability, those old memories might naturally resurface—not to overwhelm you, but because you’re finally ready to process them.
EMDR Visualization: Inside Out 2 Edition
Now let’s visualize how EMDR therapy works. A fantastic example comes from the recent Pixar movie Inside Out 2. When I watched it for the first time, I found myself constantly thinking, ‘This is just like EMDR!’ The movie explores the concept of a “Belief System” within Riley’s mind, which parallels how our core beliefs form and evolve. These beliefs, shaped by both positive and negative experiences, influence how we view ourselves and the world. In Riley’s case, her struggle with anxiety fuels the development of a harmful core belief: “I am not good enough." This belief stems from external pressures, like her fear of failing to meet expectations, and intensifies when she avoids confronting her painful emotions. By the end of the movie, Riley learns to accept her flaws and integrate these complex emotions, finding more balance in her sense of self.
This beautifully mirrors what EMDR does. Our personal experiences—whether monumental or seemingly minor—shape how we see ourselves and the world. Sometimes, these beliefs become exaggerated, leaving us feeling stuck. EMDR helps us embrace all parts of ourselves, including the uncomfortable ones and reduces the power those negative beliefs hold over us. Like Riley, we can learn to accept our whole selves, creating a more balanced and empowered life.
How EMDR Works in Real Time
Now, the big question: what happens in an EMDR therapysession? EMDR's main goal is to help you confidently regulate your emotions when disturbing memories, experiences, or triggers arise. Here’s a simple breakdown of how EMDR works.
Building Regulation Skills (Resourcing): The first step in EMDR therapy is creating a toolkit of skills (or “resources” to help you stay calm and grounded. In this, we are focusing on “resourcing,” where we practice techniques that regulate your nervous system. You'll spend time mastering these strategies so you can confidently manage your emotions. As you practice, these techniques will naturally help you regulate stress in day-to-day life, beyond just therapy sessions.
Targeting a Memory: Once you're comfortable with your resourcing, the next step is identifying a memory to process and begin to engage in "target sequence planning." You'll pinpoint a specific memory and explore what it says about you—this belief is called a "negative cognition," and it might sound like, "I am invisible," "I am not good enough," or "I have to be perfect." Your therapist will guide you through recalling past, present, and future events that reinforce this belief, as well as the emotions and physical sensations linked to it. Then, you'll develop a "positive cognition"—a belief that counteracts the negative one, such as "I am okay as I am" or "I have value." This positive belief should feel true and attainable, not unrealistic.
Desensitization: In this final phase, you'll begin the desensitization process, which reduces the emotional intensity of the memory. Your therapist will guide you through the memory, and you'll assess both how true the positive cognition feels (called the "VoC" or Validity of Cognition) and the intensity of the negative emotions (called "SUD" or Subjective Units of Distress). Using bilateral stimulation—such as moving your eyes back and forth, tapping on either side of your body, or listening to alternating sounds in each ear—the therapist helps your brain process and release the memory. This mimics the way your brain processes information during REM sleep, which is when your brain naturally works through emotions. Throughout the session, your therapist will check in with you to see how your VoC and SUD levels are shifting, ensuring the process is working for you. The goal is to decrease your SUD and increase your VoC.
This process can take place over 3-5 sessions or as part of long-term care, depending on your needs. Once you've worked through one memory in your target sequence plan, you'll continue processing the remaining memories. After completing that sequence, you and your therapist can explore additional negative neural networks. The possibilities for healing and growth are truly endless!
Who Can Benefit from EMDR?
The beauty of EMDR therapy is its versatility. Simply put, EMDR therapy is ideal for individuals who have experienced trauma, however, you don’t need to have a specific traumatic event in your history to benefit. Sometimes, unresolved emotions or distressing memories can manifest as anxiety, depression, or feeling stuck. Even if you’re unsure if you’ve experienced trauma, EMDR can help you process difficult experiences without needing to recount them in detail.
There’s no such thing as a “perfect” client for EMDR. If you’re questioning whether you’re “doing it right” or feeling apprehensive about your experiences, that’s okay! EMDR accommodates your unique journey. It’s especially helpful for those dealing with low self-esteem, emotional overwhelm, or negative beliefs about themselves. If you’re ready to explore how your past influences your present but prefer a gentle, supportive approach, EMDR might just be the path you’ve been looking for.
The Brave First Step
Taking that first step to explore EMDR therapy is no small feat. It’s a courageous decision that shows your commitment to healing and your willingness to face difficult emotions in a safe space. As an EMDR therapist, I’m here to support and guide you through that journey. If you’re curious to learn more or feel ready to dive in, let’s connect! I would be honored to help you reclaim your emotional well-being and navigate your path to healing at your own pace.
Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. EMDR therapy is here to meet you exactly where you are and help you find your way to a brighter, more balanced future!
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